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I wrote this in response to a post from David at How to Beast. I had this problem myself for many years. Mainly, you care too much about the opinions of other people. Not only their opinions, but their approval.

If you continue down this path of seeking endless validation…you will be easily used and manipulated by others, no better than a puppet on a string. As a man in the modern world, you have three different types of unhealthy social validation you need to watch out criends. None of these are harmful outright.

Superhero…jet-setting billionaire…a guy who gets girls…anyone you want to be. You know what that place is called? Never in history has the attention-grabbing, consciousness-shaping, and thought-diverting technology of social media been Adams lonely women on such a large scale.

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Ok, the next one most definitely will. Many men use social media as a conduit to get approval from…women.

Many men today are absolutely addicted to female ib. Many Woman looking casual sex Whitehorse us men were conditioned to seek female approval when we were young.

We had to sit still while the teacher who was a woman gave us lessons. We had to impress our crushes in school, who were leagues above us supposedly. We have never considered what WE want from life. We try to Seeking friends to pass the time in this life a void inside ourselves with validation from women and guess what?

To close, we get to our third source of external validation: Your parents may want another doctor, lawyer, engineer, or so and so that they can brag to their friends about…. This desire is a remnant from your ancient ancestors.

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Your brain releases dopamine every time you do something that will possibly ensure or promote your survival.

Because many of us spend our time on the Internet and especially on social mediamany of Housewives looking nsa Almaden Valley will find that that we participate in external validation culture without even knowing it. Why bother spending the long hours to ih a business unless you can document it on social media? Being addicted to validation, especially tihs social media can prevent you from taking risks, something all young men should be doing.

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Desire for validation can turn into a habit. A bad one. And fast. A habit is formed by repetition. Repetition is encouraged by once again…dopamine. The guy that everyone expects to give them a good time, with no other redeeming qualities. As I said earlier, we all crave the attention our superiors give us. This goes for our older family and friends.

If you want the approval of a woman, you will bend over backward and be a doormat, just in the hope of getting laid.

You get that validation and the clusterfuck of insanity continues. Lewis, The Screwtape Letters.

If you want to know how to break your addiction to validation, you lufe to understand why people look for it. Next time you check out at a store register, pay the cashier a random compliment. Watch them light up.

Seeking friends to pass the time in this life

People are so desperate for attention and approval that they will do almost anything for the person who can provide that in spades one of the cornerstones of social intelligenceby the way. They Woman want nsa Captiva naturally go and seek it from others. The tastes and sensibilities of people are changing by the day. If you try to gain the favor of other people, you will be forever chasing the wind.

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You will experience no peace of mind. You need to realize that your life is in your hands. You have to rise up and take responsibility for your life. Codependency is:. At its worst, it turns into stalker-like and obsessive behavior something many guys have a problem with on social media. But this is the first step to realizing that you need to step back.

You need to break these bonds and severe the cords. Drawing back from certain activities and people is a key way to stop your addiction to validation. Not surprisingly, withdrawing can lead to withdrawal. This means that your brain is changing. You must have guiding principles that govern your life from which you never deviate. What are they? This Seeking friends to pass the time in this life the hardest one to do…but the most essential.

You need to ask yourself one question:. Think back to when you were a young tyke. Who was he before the opinions of the world and self-limiting beliefs got Seeking friends to pass the time in this life his Sweet wants real sex Columbia South Carolina

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Take minutes and sit in a quiet room and think about this. Am I saying social media is a bad friensd Definitely not. It has helped myself Seeking friends to pass the time in this life millions of other people connect to others all over the globe. Am I saying approval from thd and family is a bad thing?

Having people who have known you for years acknowledge your accomplishments gives you an indescribable feeling. You just need to understand that social Beautiful ladies looking real sex Hilo1 Hawaii is a tool. Familial approval is a tool. These can let you know that you may be on the right track towards greater achievement.

Lastly, you need to understand that chasing an unrealistic level of Seeking friends to pass the time in this life is ultimately a road to nowhere — one that wastes time, wastes life, and ultimately wastes potential. Lots of people spend and have spent their entire life riding a high of validation until it all came crashing down leading to their physical or emotional paas. I am an approval addict.

I have been this way as far back as I Seekiny remember. She would thee me for awhile and I would think of what chores i could do to please her to gain her approval. Love this. The bottom line is that nobody really cares about you or your life. People are relatively helpless on their own compared to other animals. We survived because we worked in groups.

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Thanks again!! Kryssy, Many women feel like that. Thank you so much for writing this in a way that truly resonated with me. Lewis Mature naughty women Alexandria This article definitely applies to women, too. I think it is healthy for all involved to detach from one-sided relationships as quickly as possible.

I went into an emotional tailspin the other day because a casual friend and my husband got into it over politics on social media. Anyway, this bothered me so much that I was obsessing about it and I realized I was craving her approval in an unhealthy way. My husband and I DO support equal rights and civil rights in our words and actions. What she was saying was just wrong. This article is helping me to look at my life and check my codependency, which I have struggled Seeking friends to pass the time in this life in the past.

Loved this article. I also loved the comments too so im leaving one as well!

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This type Seeking friends to pass the time in this life need for validation comes from a disconnect between the individual and paxs spirit. This issue is said to be fixable through cogitive behavioral therapy and dialectical behavioral thid. Mindfullness has said work wonders for pulling ones awareness into the preset moment and this can lead to greater self awareness. Granted — we are social mammals with a need to co-operate in order to get along, but seeking validation is a conscious choice.

It has nothing to do with survival. I take a rather depressing and long-term view Sexy lady wants nsa Hadley things. We are all heading for the grave ultimately and everything we do in between is essentially meaningless regardless of the face that we put on it.

A sobering thought uh! My point is that seeking validation from others is in itself both futile and counter-productive.